Birds And Bees
by Kiho-Chyan
Summary: How does one answer this question? What is the Birds and Bees? In a family restaurant to. Sai asks the gang. They all explain, and even explain how they learnt about it themselves.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm starting a mini story, originally I planned it to be a one-shot but I decided not too. This story is all about what I mentioned in the summary. Which I haven't written yet. I don't think. Whoops**.

**Anyway, I'm Going to do a massive disclaimer here instead of doing it on each chapter. **

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, NOR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS BUT I OWN THIS PLOT. **

**Dedication. To No one. Yet. I guess... To anyone who bothers reading this. Thanks :D**

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T'was a peaceful evening in the city of Konoha. Every civilian went about doing their business, each of them busy. Some Ninjas were doing Ninja stuff. Like training for missions and trying their best to get the rank that they wanted. But this isn't about those Ninjas. Sure, this is about Ninjas but certain one.

Admittedly they all have ranks that they want and dreams to do but that's beside the point. The Ninjas we want aren't training, nope, they are at a restaurant. A rather popular restaurant to one certain blonde, loud mouth Ninja. Here in this restaurant, which shall be now known as **Ichiraku's. **It says so on the front. Honest.

In **Ichiraku's **sat the Ninjas I wish to talk about. There were twelve - no, eleven. The 12th one hasn't arrived yet.. - in total, all of them happily eating and engaging in different conversations. An eating contest broke out between two of the young Shinobi. It was between the blonde knuckle-head Ninja, and the fa - whoops. Nearly made that mistake. Hm, what is the word? Round? Large? Big-Boned? Yes, that's the one.

Both of them sat, shovelling ramen down their mouths as if they would never eat again. Silly really, but who was to tell them they couldn't? Naruto and Choji's competition was getting very... competitive? The youthful Shinobi Rock Lee watched them eagerly, blabbering on about 'Youthfulness' and 'The teaching of Gai-Sensei'. No one really listened.

Three of the Kunoichi sat one end of the bar, all of them talking about their day. Even the shy Hyuuga heiress chatted merrily to her friends. The girl in the buns was contributing to the conversation when she felt her opinion needed to be heard other than that she mindlessly fingered the Kunai held in her right hand.

Everyone was enjoying themselves, none of them really paying attention to the surrounding Ninjas. Until of course a certain Ninja walked in. A Shinobi to be exact. The Shinobi had short, black hair, and black eyes which contrasted with his very pale skin.

"Sai"

"Hey"

"Mmm- Hmm"

He was greeted by numerous responses. After that everyone left him to do his art because they knew that was all he was really interested in. But he didn't sit down, his black eyes observed all of them, his mouth partly open as if he was about to speak.

"Guys, I have a question." He stated loudly, a few of them paused what they were doing. But no one answered him.

Ino raised one platinum blonde eyebrow at him, her lips in a pout at being interrupted. With a flick of her head she tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Shoot" She told him, _'this better be good, I was getting to the good part of my day.'_ Everyone went back to their chats, assuming Ino was going to answer the boys question.

"What is the birds and the bees?" He asked loudly, a little too loudly for a family restaurant.

Everyone fell silent.

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**I'll upload again as soon as possible. I don't want to take too long on this. I plan to be done... soon.**

**Comments will make a faster update. Even if it's only... like... two. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Dedicated to Spartan1, and Bulla Tulla. And Zerojackson, my Nii-Chan. Dude, you might get some of the words in this... :)**

**I did a disclaimer on Chapter One...**

**Oh, and I admit a certain part is an extract from 50 Shades Of Grey, I haven't read it. Yet. But I googled a random 'naughty' scene in it to use.**

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Everyone stared at Sai, none of them really knowing how to answer.

"What the actual fuck Sai?" Sakura asked raising one pink eyebrow at him; no one moved still. They were all silent, all of them still staring at the confused male Shinobi. They all had their mouths open, all of them resembling a goldfish.

"Well Sai... It's um..." Ino began not too sure how to tell him this, I mean, it's not every day you get asked by a seventeen year old Ninja what sex is.

"It's sex." Shikamaru answered stretching his arms above his head yawning loudly, this was too troublesome for him to deal with.

"Oh, OK" Sai answered smiling.

"You don't know what sex is do you?" Tenten said sighing as she recognised the fake smile. Sai smiled again and the group groaned, now who do they answer?

"It's putting a chicken into a cat." Naruto grinned cheekily at everyone,

"NARUTO!" Sakura shouted, outraged with his response. Naruto shot her an innocent look and shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, how did you learn about it then Naruto?" Sai asked, curious about this... 'sex' thing.

Naruto spluttered and choked on air, he went bright red in the face and hung his head.

"Jiraiya-Sensei" He whispered, everyone was silent, wanting to here Naruto's story.

"You all want to hear now don't you?" He asked frowning. He was met with murmurs of agreement and nods.

"Well fuck... Well...

* * *

_"Naruto, stay here, I'll be back later" _

_Naruto nodded and sat cross legged, he was done with training for the day and now he had nothing to do. Jiraiya had gone off doing goodness knows what, probably perving on Kunoichi in the hot springs. Hopefully he'll come back with a bruise and a cracked ribs or something along those lines. Maybe Tsunade will be there and beat him like a drum. Ha._

_Naruto absent-mindedly poked a kunai he found, having nothing interesting to do. Jiraiyas pouch sat in the corner of the room, sitting there, inviting Naruto to look inside. Naruto glanced around the forest, confirming Jiraiya disappearance he crawled over to it and dug his hand in the bag, pricking his finger on a kunai or five he finally found something of use._

_Icha Icha. _

_He found it. The forbidden book. The one Jiraiya wrote and Kakashi-Sensei was obsessed with, he could have cheered but he didn't. That would alert people, he didn't know who but it would._

_**(50 shades) **__"He leans down and kisses me, his fingers still moving rhythmically inside me, his thumb circling and pressing. His other hand scoops my hair off my head and holds my head in place. His tongue mirrors the actions of his fingers, claiming me. My legs begin to stiffen as I push against his hand. He gentles his hand, so I'm brought back from the brink ... I come instantly again and again, falling apart beneath him … then I'm building again … I climax anew, calling out his name." __**(fin)**_

_Naruto's eyes widened, whoa, he knew this kind of stuff was in Icha Icha. Eew. Jiraiya really was a flithy pervert. Naruto flipped a few pages and came across another shocking scene,_

_**(50 shades) **__"At the touch of leather, I quiver and gasp. He walks around me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. On his second circuit, he suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind … against my sex … The shock runs through me, and it's the sweetest, strangest, hedonistic feeling … My body convulses at the sweet, stinging bite. My nipples harden and elongate from the assault, and I moan loudly, pulling on my leather cuffs." __**(fin)**_

_****__Naruto cringed and gingerly put the book back, carefully slipping it back into Jiraiya's pouch. He was never questioning anything Jiraiya does ever again. That was... ew. No one can know he ever read that filth. No one._

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__"And now someone knows I read that filth" Naruto mumbled grimacing.

"YOU TOLD ME AND TSUNADE-SAMA YOU ONLY READ A FEW PAGES!" Sakura shouted, she was livid, her fists where clenched and her eyes narrowed and sharp. Naruto's eyes widened and flinched as she came closer.

"Dickless?" Sai said,

No one answered Sai, instead they were all a little in shock from Narutos' story. Hinata was on the verge of passing out, her poor virgin ears. And she was sure her face has just created a new shade of red that could put Tomato to shame.

Sai turned to Sakura,

"Ugly, how did you learn?"

Sakura froze.

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**AND SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE BUT I'M FREAKING MOURNING NEJI'S DEATH! DON'T CARE IF THAT WAS A SPOILER, ALL I CAN SAY IS, KEEP UP SUNVAMUFFIN!**

**Going to casually steal some 50 shades scenes. Oh, I better say i doesn't belong to me. Because... Well, it doesn't. And Bulla, sorry hun, I didn't see your message until just now, fanfiction never told me you replied! So, Ima reply as soon as fanfiction lets me because It's being a bitch now. And I better change the rating on this story to M now...**


End file.
